Updated 12/22/2024
I’ve been known to write prose. I’ve been known to free-write and journal and list. This morning, as I was logging my weight, figuring out my highest, lowest and current, it occurred to me I ought to sum up the year, or at least the highlights.
I’m not one to write those annual letters to family and friends or put everything out on Facebook. So now, before Christmas festivities start, I’ll touch on events that changed the year and altered my life in a permanent way.
On the difficult side.
My body broke down a little more, limiting my mobility and driving.
I was forced out of my full-time job.
I had a “nervous breakdown.”
I gained 20 pounds.
Selling our home during a housing shortage turned out to be a hellish carnival ride, which made buying our new home an ordeal for us and the poor lady trying to sell to us.
I couldn’t be on the mortgage with my husband David because I was back to being self-employed, under-employed and earning under the poverty line while jumping from temporary space to temporary space (all major triggers for me since I’d lived in poverty before and had faced housing instability).
Because of housing prices, we had to look for homes further from where we had lived for 21 years, the place where we’d raised our children and had been part of a community.
Five months after moving in, and after building her a yard, our dear dog Dolly died of lymphoma.
On the amazing side.
My husband retired, eliminating his commute, opening new options and reducing stress.
With the help of excellent realtors on both sides who worked very hard for us, we moved into our beautiful new home, which turned out to be bigger than we originally planned. We now have deer and foxes and birds and squirrels and raccoons and all kinds of critters we call our lawn pets.
With the help of family, friends, advocates, healthcare providers, community, nature and all the angels and souls looking out for me, I got stronger emotionally and physically.
I joined the local Chamber of Commerce and relaunched my business.
I got additional freelance jobs and a local part-time position, all of which not only help us make ends meet, they accommodate my particular needs and bring me joy.
I partnered with the local arts center and started a new writers group.
I’ve had multiple feature articles published through magazines and news media.
I published my 13th book.
I had 8 poems published, placed in a poetry contest and won a book award.
I’ve partnered with a talented artist and am starting my 14th book.
Our daughter got engaged and we’re planning a wedding.
Our son met a friend and got a new job local to us.
As of today, I’ve lost the 20 pounds I’d gained.
David and I adopted two gorgeous rescue kitties.
I get to write this list.
I get to write this list.
I get to write this list.
I might add to this entry as I remember more details and am permitted to make them public. But here is what I want to remind myself of, what I want my kids to know, what I want to share with anyone struggling.
Nothing is ever 100 percent. Not the bad, not the good, not the in-between.
The world is not binary. Everything is ambivalent, ephemeral, slow-moving, steady and fleeting simultaneously.
This incarnation we now experience is temporary, a form we take until we move to the next one, making this one matter right now.
As I am not of any one belief system, I will not presume to tell anyone what this should mean for them, but I know what it means for me.
I will do good today.
I will try to leave the world a little better than when I came into it.
I will be kind, I will love, and I will celebrate every joy that comes my way.
I will do my best.
This list is not a poem, but certainly there’s a poem somewhere in here.
There is poetry in everything if just we pay close enough attention.
