My dear friend, this morning at 4 I found myself breathing into the fur of my dog’s thick neck and thought, perhaps I’ve been holding too tightly to everything that lives – everything that makes a living – that much easier. You did that for me daily, reminded me, heard me, eased me, listened to my stupidity from across the clacking keyboard, across geography, across the missing senses and sentences. You said we were soul sisters, introverts, spiritual doppelgangers, justice-driven, goal-driven, to-do list driven. From your hospital bed, you earned a doctorate. From your deathbed, you ran a nonprofit, shared your deep love of dogs and poetry and art, working, serving, giving life, vision, yet all that time sightless, speechless, hearingless, and then for so long, absolutely breathless. It was the breathlessness that took you back, sucking you into the primordial womb. And yet here you are with me and my dog, too early, breathing into me, for me, funneling that beautiful notion through fur and jowl and forehead, chiding me, “Listen to the wisdom of animals. Hear what they have to say.” For everything, there is a time to inhale. For everything, a time to exhale. And dying? It is not the opposite of living. It’s only a way of being. My dear friend, I am listening. My dear friend, I love you. My dear friend, I’ll mourn the moments we don’t have together. But I will not mourn you. Go now. Breathe easy for me. Go now. Be poetry for me. Go into the very energy you yourself created. Be what you’ve always been. Spirit of the universe. -Katherine Gotthardt Traci Carrano Jones passed away yesterday after a long fight with multiple illnesses. She was 50 years old. Anyone who knew her knew of her powerful spirit. We talked online almost every day for years, did nonprofit work together, planned together, shared an important part of our lives with each other. Though I knew she would not live a full lifespan, I'm still processing her death, as her family is. If you can support her family, please consider doing so: https://gofund.me/f4a00705
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