**Backpack Part II

March 22, 2024 / Katherine Gotthardt / Comments Off on **Backpack Part II 
It’s not that I shoulder a navy
pack on my disintegrating back.
It’s not that I actually swallowed
the kind of pills that retch
even the rage out until 
I could not keep anything down, 
and so I turn instead to my veins 
in one extinguishing, bloody hope. 
It’s because I know what 
it feels like to not have home,
to carry someone else inside 
but have nowhere for either of us
to sleep, and every creak of someone 
else’s bed creates more distance 
in my ribs until you can fit a fist 
between the bones and rip out even 
the last drip of dignity that used 
to work well for me. And I do know 
what it means to have to rely
on white powder, liquid or tablet just 
to keep alive, how easily the scales
of addiction can tip, how simple to say, 
this is it, pour it all out on the table 
alongside a filthy cup brimming with 
rusty water. So when I turn away, 
when I sentence my eyes to the earth 
and cannot look you in the face, it is 
not because I don’t love you in my own 
agape way. It is because seeing you 
reminds me how desperately close we all are, 
how each mutter we make in the boardroom 
or on a templated page can literally mean 
the difference between someone turning 
CEO and someone silenting through 
aging pavement, seeping into subways 
and ground soil, turning reservoirs a deeper 
shade of brown, reminding each of us 
we could have been the one to stop it. 

Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt, copyright March 22, 2024, all rights reserved 
**I named this Part II because I have a similar poem in my book Poems from the Battlefield.
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Katherine Gotthardt

Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt, M.Ed., writing concentration, hails from Virginia. She considers herself a writer by nature and by trade, having begun writing for fun as soon as her mother helped teach her to read. An active part of the literary community, Katherine was a past-president and a founding member of Write by the Rails (WbtR), the Prince William Chapter of the Virginia Writers Club. Katherine has been a Prince William County Poet Laureate nominee and was the winner of Inside Nova’s 2019 and 2020 Best of Prince William award in the category of author. Her poetry and prose book Get Happy, Dammit: Staying Inspired and Motivated in an Often-Unhappy World received a Silver Award from the Nonfiction Authors Association. Katherine's children’s book, A Crane Named Steve, hit number one in its category on Amazon in 2019. Katherine then took first place in the free verse category of Loudoun County Library Foundation’s 2020 Rhyme On poetry contest for her piece "Discussion Topic." The Prince William Arts Council and Poet Laureate Circle awarded her the 2020 Outstanding Poetry Project Award for her leadership in Write by the Rails' Poems Around Town poetry installation. In 2021 Katherine earned second place for "Aftermath" in a Poetry Society of Virginia national contest and the regional Seefeldt Award for Arts Excellence in the category of Individual Artist. She won first place in the Virginia Writers Club statewide Golden Nib contest in the poetry category for her poem "Kayak." Katherine was recognized as a PW Perspective 2021 DMV Best Business award winner in the category of author. In April 2023, Katherine’s poem “Now Entering Manassas” was the winner of Manassas, Virginia's adult “time capsule” poetry contest. Katherine read her poem at the 150th anniversary celebration, the translated version by Jorge de Villasante was read in Spanish by Bianca Menendez, her poem was published in Neighbors of Historic Manassas magazine, and it was included in the city’s time capsule. While Katherine is well-known for her poetry, she also has established a solid reputation for writing articles, columns and short fiction. She is published in dozens of journals and anthologies and has authored 12 books: Poems from the Battlefield, Furbily-Furld Takes on the World, Approaching Felonias Park, Weaker Than Water, Bury Me Under a Lilac, Late April, A Crane Named Steve, Get Happy, Dammit, D.C. Ekphrastic: Crisis of Faith, Thirty Years of Cardinals Calling, Get Happier, Dammit and We All Might Be Witches. She uses proceeds from her books to support giving back initiatives.

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